I have a long relationship with issues of ageing both as a long-term care trainer for insurance companies and as one who is experiencing the impact of a mother with dementia. Together with my siblings, we moved mother into to our sister’s home in Oklahoma. My sister, and second to youngest sibling, wanted to care for her and was willing to leave her job to do so.

Mother’s meager savings and social security is able to help my sister with their expenses. However, it meant a dramatic life-style change. Luckily, family lives nearby and a friend, Connie who cares for mother a few hours a day while my sister sleeps. We talk weekly. At first we talked about her self-care and maintaining a semblance of her old life. That ended within the year. Now our conversations revolve around mom’s decline and other family matters.

The change in our mother is devastating – from a normal woman nearing 90 years of age in this picture to someone who walks stooped from the waist, long hair swinging as she walks. Her speech is unintellible. She roams the house for 24 hours straight and then sleeps for 2 days. She was 93 in March, 2024.